Frankly,Winter Olympics are getting a little out of hand. First of all, the very...er... uncomfortable-looking male figure skaters battle it out with spins, tassels, and (my personal favorite) hip-shaking. (That was sarcastic). Then there are at least seven million ski events (Alpine. Alpine Downhill. Alpine Uphill. Slalom. Giant Slalom. Not Quite Giant Slalom. Mini Slalom. Slalom half-pipe on skis. Slalom half-pipe on skates. Slalom biathlon nordic combined men and women with pterodactyls. Super mega slalom on snowboards. Snow cross/ski cross/railroad cross. Do you get the picture???). I've decided that, when the host nation is as, frankly, (trying to think of a nice word) unexciting as Canada, we should add and combine a few events to compensate for the unexcitingness of the rest of it. My ideas:
Moose Mini Slalom: It's sort of like the slalom (whatever that means) except with a moose instead of skis!
Figure curling: Where girls (or boys, depending) in sparkly dresses have a contest on who can do the most jumps and hit each other with sticks, all in the same event!
Horse racing on ice: Sort of like short track speed skating, except on a horse.
Railroad cross: This is like snowboard cross (or ski cross. I'm not quite sure which). You wear one ski and one snowboard and try to race a moving train! Added incentive: If you don't medal, you'll not only disappoint your country, but you'll also be extremely flat.
Luge biathlon, Matterhorn style: Instead of trying to beat the best time in a sled, you are attempting to outrun a yeti (similar to the Matterhorn ride in Disneyland!) The gun is to shoot the yeti, thus yielding a medal not only in overall speed, but also in aim while on a sled moving 90 mph.
What do you think? What as-of-yet unseen Olympic events would you suggest?
6 comments:
The Yeti should definitely be incorporated in a all Olympic events!
Here is a good one...Yeti WRESTLING!
That may just be the event that brings Bigfoot out of hiding!!!
I like the railroad crossing! That way we wont feel bad for the person who lets down their Country-they don'te have to feel bad because they'll be dead...hmmm.
Jocelberry
HAHA! That's great! I would totally have to agree with you about the male figure skating though. That was just weird.
I think a new one should be "figure curling," done in the figure skating ring, the guy skater sees how far he can get the girl skater to slide after he drops her, or did they actually do that? I seem to remember seeing a lot of that during what I thought was Figure Skating.
Trishelle
This is great, Catey! I like the railroad crossing. :-)
You know what is really worth watching? The Paralympics! I got to see the World Disabled Invitational live and it is AMAZING to see blind skiers or those with only one leg skiing down the mountain at high speeds. THAT requires talent and is quite impressive to watch. :)
Wow. I had fun reading this. I think that we should have the moose do skiing competitions, and they should do it blindfolded. Yeah. That would be a sight.
LOL! This post made me laugh. Especially because I have to agree. The olympics are pretty boring. :P
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