The Craziest Thing I've Done With My Mom in a While...

Once upon a time, I woke up to the sound of my mom yelling down the heater vent (an approved venue of communication in my house) something to the effect of, "CATEY! GET UP!"

I turned over and tried to fall back asleep - it wasn't that I was trying to ignore her, I just dream things like that all the time.

And then the screaming started again. "Catey! Get up! Dr. Messingham wants to get your bands off today!"

My first thought: Who is Dr. Messingham?

My second thought: Bands + off = good news.

Dr. Messingham!!! Oh! Dr. Devinindisguise!!!! That meant I was getting my braces off today!

I was dressed and ready in record time (something ridiculously short for a teenage girl, that is) We zipped down into the Springs just in time to get to my ever-so-beloved orthodontist, who said that he could tell I wear my rubber bands (duh) and that my teeth looked great.

Then came the last episode of devilish torture that I shall hopefully ever have to endure. If you've ever had braces, you'll know that it doesn't hurt to get them on. It does hurt to get them off. Dr. Devilindisguise took his pointy red tail and sawed the brackets off one at a time and then shaved off the glue using the same caudal device. Ouch.

Then the dental hygienist woman shoved pond slime down my throat in order to make impressions of my teeth. (Note: It's not usually a good thing when the lady says, "Um... have you ever had impressions done? No? It's going to feel like it's going down your throat, but it's too thick to do that." So the only thing stopping me from certain death is the fact that the goop is so thick?? That's a really comforting thought.)

When I came back two hours later, they had made me two clear plastic trays that fit the shape of my teeth. I was given a five-page list of retainer care (no taboo foods!) and then sent on my way.

It was the same day as Chapter Meeting for CFC (Communicators for Christ). Since I was a student leader now (!) I had to come "professionally attired" (insert Catey gulping). I'm one of those people who ALWAYS dresses really nicely, but I have no professional clothing. I mean, I'm a writer for gracious sake. I do not need a suit. I'm not a debater, nor am I a competitor. I'd gone to the CFC conference with just my regular nice clothes.

But then it hit me. I may not be competing speech, but if I was to continue student leadering, I would need some business clothes for various platforms, depending on where I was going and what I was doing. So, my crazy wonderful mother and I decided to go shopping. It was sometime around noon, and we had just over an hour to get back home in time to pick up younger sister Carli and get to Chapter. So, after dashing all over Marshalls (which, in case you were thinking about trying to find clothes there, doesn't have any professional-looking skirts, slacks or blouses for under forty dollars for a size smaller than a fourteen...) So, my mother and I resigned to go look at the Dress Barn.

Yes, you read that right. The Dress Barn. Whoever thought up that name should be given major points for creativity but some serious downgrading for that particular selection. I felt like I should be buying cowboy boots or bandanas going into a store like that!

But there isn't anything of that kind in there. Actually, the clothes are a lot nicer than I'm accustomed to looking for (which is kind of a change, since I ALWAYS dress nicely) To cut a very long story short, we ended up not being able to find very much under a size 8 there either (grr). When we did end up finding something, it was this amazing grey suit that I liked very much. Again, smallest size was a size six. Unfortunately, I can't wear a size six. Then my mother had a brilliant idea. The mannequin! Surely that was a small size...

You guessed it. We made the poor store clerk (just another one of my random store clerk experiences) undress the mannequin so I could try on the suit. And, miracle of miracles, it actually fit! But we were so short on time by now that we actually had to ask the very nice store clerk lady if I could wear the suit out of the store!! I am firmly convinced that, separately, my mother and I are unusual, but together, we are entirely insane! I walked out of the barn with tennis shoes and no nylons, but I had my suit!

Hopefully that is the last entirely random and crazy thing my mother and I will do for a while. Hopefully...